What’s In a Name?

I was one of the very few kids in high school that took Latin as my foreign language.  As much as I hated conjugating verbs and repeating a language that we would only hear spoken in the Catholic Church (I am not Catholic, but have many friends that are) I really loved learning about root words and seeing how the Latin language shaped not only English words, but the love languages as well.

When I started this blog I tried to come up with a name that would reflect who I am but not be cliché and silly.  I ran through all kinds of options but none seemed original or a good representation of me.  I sat in front of my computer with Google Translator on my screen and ran through some of my favorite words in Spanish, French, and Latin.  Some of my favorite words are grace (Latin: gratia; Spanish: gracia; French: grâce), blessed (Latin: benedixit; Spanish: hermanas; French: sœurs), process (Latin: processus; Spanish: proceso; French: processus).  None of them really let people know about me.

Then it hit me.  There have been two significant periods of time in my life that have shaped who I am today.  Each of those seasons in my life I had a different last name.  Thus my blog is called “nivis venditores” the Latin translation of my maiden name and my last name for the past 20 years.

The first season would be considered my formidable years.  I was not a great kid.  I was rebellious and spoiled.  I was full of excuses and didn’t take responsibility well or life too seriously.  I made some really terrible choices, especially during my teen years.  Through it all, tough love prevailed and my parents did all they could to make sure I had every chance to succeed.  A child of divorce, I could tell you that it was that event and living apart from my father that caused me to make all those bad choices, but that wouldn’t be fair to my parents.  I own those choices, they don’t.   I also managed to accept and discover a relationship with Jesus Christ during those years.  While it was only a superficial relationship at that point, I know that He was always there watching over me and steering me through the storms caused by my choices.

Then I made one of the first really good choices in my life.  The U.S. Air Force.  All the self-discipline and drive that I had been missing as a teenager, I found as a young Airman.  God blessed me during this time in my life, although I couldn’t see it all at the time.  While He took my mother home to be with Him, he gave me my first born child who has been an incredible blessing (even if she is just like me).

In the interest of full disclosure, I also had a third name for a short period of time.  But this name didn’t shape me as much.  The choices of my childhood were still haunting me during this time.  I was blessed with my first son during this time so because of him, it was a great couple of years.

The next season of my life that shaped who I am today started on February 29, 1992.  The past 20 years of my life I have had many ups and downs, but I have had an incredible, Godly man right beside me.  He has been an incredible father to my first two children, now ours, and to the two little boys we now have that we prayed God would give us for many years.  What was a superficial relationship with Jesus Christ during my “nivis” years has become a deep, abiding love during the “venditores” years.  JC has never left me, although I admit I have abandoned Him a few times.  He is always right there, waiting and ready to pick up wherever I have left Him as this journey continues.

I learn more and more about true, unconditional love and trust everyday through the example that our Father in Heaven has given us, and through the example my husband on earth gives me.

 I have been with you everywhere you have gone. I cut off all of your enemies when you were attacking them.  Now I will make you famous. Your name will be just as respected as the names of the most important people on earth.  1 Chronicles 17:8

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